Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Craziest Story

Going through old files today I came upon this old story. It's one of the silliest things i've ever written. Maybe you'll like it!

Dragon and Muffin Roast a Turkey

Dragon and Muffin were preparing for dinner.

Dragon rinsed the turkey and rubbed it with salt and spices.

"The flesh of this turkey will be savory and delicious," said Dragon.

"Like me!" said muffin.

Next dragon got a big bowl from his cupboard and began mixing the ingredients for stuffing. He cut up oranges, lemons, apples and onions and put them in the bowl. He added cranberries and raisins to the bowl. He also threw in a dash of cloves.

"this stuffing will not stick together" said dragon. "It is missing something."

Dragon thought hard.

Muffin thought hard too.

"Breadcrumbs!" said Dragon.

"Yes!" Said Muffin. (breadcrumbs was what he was going to say).

Dragon looked in the bread box, but it was empty. He looked in the cupboard too, but he didn't find any breadcrumbs. "this stuffing will not be savory or delicious without breadcrumbs," said dragon, and he shed a tear.

Muffin wanted to be helpful. "I am made of breadcrumbs," he said.

Dragon mixed his friend into the bowl and it gave the stuffing a wonderful consistency. He roasted the turkey until the delightful small of it filled his kitchen and then he sat down for a quiet dinner.

As he ate he remembered good times with his friends.


sdn said...

This makes me sad!

Fr Matthew Green said...

Yep, that's crazy and silly... and it made me laugh, so thanks for posting it!

Makes you wonder if the turkey was the dragon's friend, too, before the dragon got hungry.

An illustration of the dragon crying and looking at the mixing bowl and chatting with the muffin, would be fun too...

Christina said...

I'm laughing right now. That's a really funny story. I love it when you write stories and they're not trying hard to be funny, but it's ironic and you just sit back and laugh.

Even though I feel like I SHOULD be sorry for the muffin. And I'm not.


Anonymous said...

There is sympathy for the muffin, but is it because he was so nice and wanted to help, or because he was terminally not very smart?

Ben Hatke said...

I almost didn't post this story because there WAS an illustration of Dragon and Muffin, the turkey and the mixing bowl. But when i was clearing things off my drawing table I gave it to the kids to color!

I shouldn't have.

Red Herring Jeff said...

Ha-ha-ha! What a great story about friendship...I've had a couple of friends that I wish I could tell to stop being a muffin.

Tim said...

This is a happy story! Muffin's God-given purpose was to be food and sustenance for others. He was lucky to have a good enough friend who understood this and who unselfishly (because he was losing a beloved companion in the process) gave the muffin the opportunity to become who and what he was meant to be.

Ben Hatke said...

Jeff! I need to write to you and thank you for the calender!!!

Tim, I guess you could read it that way. Maybe it depends on your mood? Today, for instance, it seems like Muffin has no sense of self-preservation and Dragon has no conscience.

Actually, yeah, I like your way better...

sdn said...

I think you should post the illustration, colored by kids or no.

Tim said...

Or save it for your next self-published book. The book title could even be "The Craziest Story" and the readers could decide which of all the stories was the craziest because I'm thinking there are some more 'craziest' stories in your arsenal, whether real or imagined.

Abigail said...

Now THIS is the kind of book I would read. Hilarious.

Also, congrats on the "Zita" release!

Red Herring Jeff said...

I'm glad to hear you got it. I hope you like it!